Mom Given Option To Terminate at 20 Weeks: A Journey Through a Cleft Diagnosis
Kristina, who did not disclose her full name, posted her story sharing that the news came after doctors identified her son had a cleft lip—and possibly a cleft palate during a 20-week anatomy scan. "My first instinct reaction was to cry—and I did," Kristina told Newsweek. "It felt like everything I had imagined for my baby suddenly changed, and I wasn't prepared for that kind of news."
Understanding the Medical Diagnosis
A cleft lip occurs when the upper lip doesn't form completely during early pregnancy, sometimes extending into the palate (roof of the mouth). It's one of the most common birth defects, affecting about one in 1,600 babies in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( CDC).
At the time, Kristina explained that the option to terminate felt confusing and overwhelming due to a lack of knowledge of a cleft diagnosis and how that would affect her son Benji. Doctors couldn't tell her how severe the cleft would be or any other complications that may be involved with Benji's diagnosis. "I also think the medical team was required to present all possible options, even though I wish the conversation had been worded with more sensitivity," she told Newsweek.
Data on Cleft Conditions and Benji's Medical Timeline
| Category | Details |
| U.S. Birth Statistics | Affects about 1 in 1,600 babies |
| Diagnosis Timeline | 20-week anatomy scan |
| Post-Birth Feeding | Nasogastric (NG) tube for one month |
| Surgical Intervention | Two major surgeries before first birthday |
| Recovery Challenge | Refused all milk for five to six weeks |
Post-Birth Challenges and Surgical Recovery
After Benji was born, feeding became a challenge. He needed a nasogastric (NG) tube for a month just to get nutrition. Before his first birthday, Benji had undergone two major cleft surgeries. Recovery wasn't easy—especially after his palate repair, which required two separate hospital stays.
One of the most difficult stretches came when he refused all milk for five to six weeks. "It was heartbreaking to see him struggle like that," Kristina said. "So when he finally drank milk again, it was a huge 'Hallelujah' moment for us."
Thriving Beyond the Diagnosis
From being given the option to terminate her pregnancy to today, nothing could have prepared Kristina for what her son's life actually looks like. After the multiple surgeries, Kristina didn't expect she'd be grieving her son's first smile—the one they had come to love so deeply. "But we are so fortunate and truly blessed to have experienced and loved both of Benji's smiles—his beautiful pre-surgery smile and the one he has now," she told Newsweek.
Today, Benji is thriving. His palate has healed, his speech is improving and he's now a curious, joyful toddler who loves to eat and smile. "Most of all, he's still as smiley and happy as ever," Kristina said. "It's amazing to see how far he's come, and we're so proud of him."