Healing After Abortion: 40 Years Later You’re Never Too Late

My testimony starts with my willingness, after 40 years, to FINALLY listen and obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I went from not knowing healing after abortion was possible, to joining a healing ministry. If I can heal after an abortion experience, you can too!

Sylvia's Story

Hey, I’m Sylvia. I had an unplanned pregnancy in college. Rather than lose my “good girl” reputation, shame drove me to have an abortion. I was in denial about the effects of my secret abortion for decades.

The Holy Spirit Moves

It was a lovely evening in September of 2019. We were having a women’s day of praise and worship at our church. I felt excited to be in the electric atmosphere! There was a feeling that the Holy Spirit was moving in my heart. I felt this intense connection to Him and the women in the room that was so uplifting.

As we were enjoying the afterglow of worship, I remember spying a very humble yet strong-looking woman. She was standing by a vendor table with a banner that read “Healing Grace.” To be honest, I didn’t know what “Healing Grace” stood for but I felt drawn to the table. I wandered over to get a closer look.

Two of my friends in our women's ministry were hanging out at the table. As I read the banner in detail, I realized that the focus of the ministry was to help women heal from the pain of abortion through support groups. I thought, ‘Wow! Abortion healing is a thing?’ Both of my friends were proudly standing there with this unknown woman chatting other women up. I wondered how they were so comfortable representing an abortion healing program? In the church no less! Had they had abortions? They didn’t seem shy about association with the woman at the table and her scarlet letter cause! They were shining like the sun, free as birds. I walked away astonished and unsure of what to make of it all.

Something familiar

Fast forward to November, and another ministry I worked with was sponsoring a discipleship seminar. As soon as I walked in, I saw the now-familiar banner for “Healing Grace.” This time at the table was a woman with the sweetest most compassionate face I’d seen in a long time. I remember smiling at her and then sneaking up to the table to discreetly take a card. She didn’t engage me. She had this kind presence that made you feel like you were in a safe place. I knew in my heart there was definitely something there. Maybe, it was time for me to look more into this program!

The Process of Emotional Restoration

The journey from denial to recovery can be summarized through the following milestones based on my experience:

• The Crisis: Unplanned pregnancy in college followed by a choice driven by shame.
• The Silence: Living in denial for 40 years regarding the effects of the secret abortion.
• The Prompting: Encountering the "Healing Grace" ministry at a church worship day and a seminar.
• The Decision: Hearing the Holy Spirit say it was time to step away from leadership and get healing.
• The Resolution: Joining a non-judgemental support group and finding restoration.

It’s time to step away

Not long afterward, I was driving home from one of our weekly Sisterhood meetings. While driving, I distinctly heard, “it’s time to step away from leadership within Sisterhood and get healing.” Well, there really wasn’t a question at that point about what “healing” the Holy Spirit was referring to.

I went home and shared with my husband about what the Lord told me to do. My husband has always been my first confidant when it comes to the move of God in my life. In fact, he was the first person and only suitor that I’d ever shared my abortion story with. At first, he was a bit hesitant because he knew how much I loved women’s ministry. He was also unsure about what the healing process would do to me and for me. But inside he knew this was an important step towards us addressing all the bitter emotional pain we’d both lived with for decades. Could it be related to my past abortion? We both finally came to the conclusion, ‘why not find out?!’

A time to heal after abortion

I felt led to meet with my senior pastor. I wanted to tell her directly why God was asking me to step away from Sisterhood. Her enthusiasm for my process of restoration could not have been more freeing. After our meeting, I called the number on the card I’d kept stashed in my wallet. The following day, I got connected with the woman I’d seen at the praise and worship night. Later, by God’s good grace, I got placed in a group led by the sweet-faced woman I’d met at the discipleship conference.

I found myself in a non-judgemental environment surrounded by amazing women filled with God’s love. It was clear how intentional God was with it all. He wanted me healed from my painful post-abortive emotions. By preparing the way and making the path straight, He had also been busy preparing me and straightening me out. Why that spiritual healing preparation took nearly 40 years I cannot say. But I guess I needed to wander for a while… What I’ve come to understand now is that, until you are ready to heal, you will not heal. I also know the sweet and steadfast love and compassion from godly women advance the Kingdom.