The One Thing You Need to Understand About Your Pregnant Wife and 5 Ways to Deliver Support
In my professional work, I hear women express mixed feelings of joy and worry about pregnancy. They face many challenges and adjustments. It reminded me of how men don’t fully understand what women encounter with pregnancy. Women need their men to understand something big about having a baby. Let’s face it guys, when it comes to having a baby our job is fairly simple. However, in comparison, our women do the heavy lifting–and for that matter, the breathing too!
The Reality of Sacrifice
Your wife makes major sacrifices during and after pregnancy. Because we will never experience pregnancy, guys have a limited understanding of the sacrifice women make. She sacrifices her body during pregnancy; anatomical and physiological changes start soon after pregnancy. Perhaps you’ve witnessed “morning sickness” in the first trimester. Before long a “baby bump” appears and clothes no longer fit. This may not seem like a big deal to you since guys often get a pass on the “beer belly”. However, women feel a lot of pressure to look attractive.
The following table summarizes the areas where your wife makes major sacrifices:
| Sacrifice Area | Description of Challenges |
|---|---|
| Physical Body | Anatomical and physiological changes, morning sickness, and dietary modifications. |
| Active Life | Adjusting social events and activities to accommodate pregnancy and fatigue. |
| Career | Deciding how long to work, taking time off, or putting professional advancement on hold. |
Changes in Health and Lifestyle
Changes in body shape are profoundly significant throughout pregnancy. Your wife also has to pay close attention to diet since now she is eating for two. To accommodate she has to modify her eating habits, not to mention alcohol and use of medication. Hormonal changes appear throughout pregnancy which can be emotionally turbulent for your pregnant wife. Further into pregnancy, your wife has to adjust her active life to accommodate the pregnancy. Some of the activities and social events she once did freely are put on hold during pregnancy. She may be able to attend some events but choose not to because she is tired or “feels pregnant”.
Impact on Career
She sacrifices her career. When pregnancy occurs in a family, men’s careers are hardly impacted. We just go about our jobs. Women on the other hand have several things to consider. Among them, how long she will work, how much time she will take off, or in some cases, will she put her career on hold. If she does hit the pause button on her career, your wife faces the challenge of getting back into it and being up to speed on advancements in the industry.
5 Ways You Can Deliver Support
Now that you on some level understand the sacrifice your pregnant wife makes, here are some ways you can deliver support to her.
- #1: Become an educated future dad on pregnancy. You know those pregnancy books piled on her nightstand? It might be good to pick one up and start reading it. If you really want to score points, read the books with your pregnant wife! The more you learn about the stages of pregnancy, the better prepared you are to support her.
- #2: Get involved in the pregnancy. Now that you are informed because you’re reading the books and doing the Google research, you are more prepared to be involved. In as much as possible, attend doctor’s visits and ask questions.
- #3: Provide physical assistance. When morning sickness begins, be ready if she needs you. Rub her back, grab the bucket, hold her hair back when she vomits. Do what she asks without complaining. Also, be prepared on a moment’s notice to run to the store and satisfy her food cravings!
- #4: Offer emotional support throughout. Expect your wife’s emotions to be erratic during the course of pregnancy. Hormonal changes do impact mood and emotions. She does not need you to fix her. Just listen, show empathy, and remind her that you will get through it together.
- #5: Prepare for the outcome. Your pregnant wife wants you to be excited about the process, not just the outcome. Be prepared in the event your wife has postpartum depression, commonly known as “baby blues”. It may not seem rational to you but you need to respond on an emotional level.
A woman feels more secure and prepared for pregnancy when she has your support. She will also feel closer to you.